Week one of Coachella is over and done with, and the festival in Indio, California, continues to be a mecca for flower crowns, corporate “experience” marketing, prime Instagram content, and—oh, right—headlining music acts. But while guests from around the world prepare for week two of the spectacle, a more important and exclusive concert just happened right here in New York City: a surprise Martha Stewart DJ set. Yes, the lifestyle guru and Snoop Dogg’s pal was spotted spinning some tracks on the streets of Manhattan today, likely filming for a commercial or video project, and it’s the only music performance I ever wish to have witnessed in person. It’s my personal Coachella; charge me $300 for a wristband and I will pay it.
One’s mind can run wild with what a hypothetical Martha Stewart setlist would look like. A little sleuthing reveals that the queen of the kitchen actually loves the rapper Eminem; maybe she’d open with his ultimate hype song, “Lose Yourself.” And, of course, one would hope she’d at least incorporate a remix of “Drop It Like It’s Hot,” in tribute to Snoop. Whatever her song choices would be, it’s clear she already knows her way around a turntable. I mean, just look at the focus in her eyes—she is pumping up that bass with precise and precision. (Turntable, Thanksgiving table—what’s the difference, really?)
Also, if Stewart were to become an actual real-life DJ, just think of the names she could give herself. There’s some obvious choices: DJ M-Stew, or DJ Stew. But what about Domestica Diva, or DJ Domestique? Even better yet are the taglines she could use to promote her brand new side hustle. We can see it now: Stewart finessing her free Wix site with some potential business headers like, “It’s about to be lit (flambés and parties)”; “Welcome to Martha’s Vinylyard”; “She hosts perfect dinner parties—and spins after-parties, too”; “Set the table, and then the dance floor.” (Okay, I’ll stop!)
Look, it’s not the craziest idea in the world: Other surprising celebrities have made successful forays into the world of deejaying. Paris Hilton, for one. So, why can’t Stewart? There are loads of weddings, bar mitzvahs, and bachelorette parties out there in need of entertaining, people! And with Stewart’s expert knowledge of all things decor, meals, and events, she can even plan your party and then drop the beats for it, too. A two-in-one special.